You can’t tune into the news these days without hearing a breaking story about sexual abuse. The #MeToo Movement has brought to public attention the travesty of sexual predation that takes place in many industries. While its initial focus was on show business, victims from other arenas, such as finance and community service, are now stepping forward.
The Corruption of Power
The popular quote by Sir John Dalberg-Acton, “Power tends to corrupt, and absolute power corrupts absolutely,” often rings true in these types of circumstances. It strikes me that a major motivation of predators is the abuse of the power they have over their employees and others they consider subordinate. They seem to have this thirst for taking unfair advantage of people, and dominating them. This drive is so strong that they will lie, threaten, bribe, extort, and stoop to any and all illegal and immoral means to first conquer, and then silence, their target.
How do people get to this point? Most certainly, the syndrome of fame and fortune brings out the worst in people. It can disproportionately swell their ego and make them believe normal rules no longer apply to them. In addition, our society has corporate structures that consolidate power among an elite few. This dominant upper echelon controls access to jobs, money, and services, forcing people to pay homage to them. Then, of course, you have the masses of people who don't play the game directly but know damn well what goes on, yet keep their mouths shut out of fear. Sadly, this even includes parties like the media who are supposed to uphold public standards and report to us when powerbrokers deviate from them.
But Is It More Than Just Abuse Of Power?
On top of all that, I think there is an additional factor at play. It's noteworthy that many of these predators, once they are caught, end up going into sexual addiction rehabilitation. For some, of course, this is simply a public relations ploy and involves absolutely no introspection, treatment, or self-improvement. But for others, it really does transform their lives. It seems that addiction is a significant component in the makeup of power brokers who prey on their underlings for sex.
I have come across people with sexual addiction during the course of my life insurance career. One case, in particular, stands out in my mind. It involved a gentleman who was an executive with a major corporation who continually engaged in sex with women in his office. He was so out of control that he would do this when employees were in the next room or just before people were expected to meet with him. The possibility of almost getting caught thrilled him and he couldn't get enough of that perverse excitement.
His wife found out about it and threatened to divorce him if he didn't get help. So he spent a lot of money out of his own pocket and entered an intensive 30-day inpatient program. He came to me for help in buying life insurance soon after he was discharged. He was eager to rechannel his newfound energy and expand his business activity.
Life Insurance Challenges For Addicts
The truth is that anybody coming right out of rehab, whatever the reason for it, is in for a challenge when trying to get life insurance. Underwriters have a number of legitimate concerns, especially since one type of addiction can lead to another. People with an addiction to sex can also have an addiction to alcohol and drugs. Underwriters will want to know: Are any medications being used in treatment? What side effects or adverse impact on health can they have? Is the client fully compliant with his physician’s prescription for counseling, support groups, etc.? Have they had trouble with the law? What about financial troubles? What's the possibility of relapse?
Fortunately, this candidate trusted the prequalification process and felt comfortable going through full disclosure. He told me about growing up in a war-torn country, where he felt his life was in danger every day. Living on the edge of death was both terrifying, yet thrilling. For him, these risky sexual encounters were a way of reliving that thrill. Plus, in his culture, children, especially young boys, were considered playthings by tribal leaders. His abuse at their hands, combined with the dangers of daily living, led him to become a sexual thrill-seeker as an adult.
To his credit, he became aware of this internal strife as he went to rehab and therapy. He worked hard at gaining control of his overwhelming thoughts and desires. His treating physician concurred that he had made great progress and had reached the point of control and stability. This backstory reassured the underwriter that this gentleman was indeed ready to take on the commitment of a life insurance policy. They gave him a very competitive rate and enabled him to buy the coverage he needed to keep building his business.
Addiction Is Not The End Of The Story
Sexual addiction is very real and a serious obstacle to overcome. But it is not the last chapter of your story. If you’ve struggled with anything of this nature, or know someone who has, be encouraged that you can conquer this and that life insurance is not out of the question for you. If you want to partner with someone who will respect your backstory and advocate for you through the prequalification process, schedule a free 15-minute introductory phone call online.