This Nearly Took My Marriage
Angie Carlson |
Budgeting was supposed to fix our financial challenges. Instead it nearly took my marriage.
Let me take you back to my darkest financial moment.
- Spreadsheet open.
- Perfect budget categories.
- With numbers that never followed the plan.
And yet another fight with my husband about why we were over budget. Again.
For a DECADE I religiously followed what every financial expert preached: track every penny, categorize every expense, stick to the budget.
We were doing everything “right.”
And yet…
- The same money fights on repeat, with words we couldn’t take back and days of tense silence
- That stomach-dropping guilt when the car broke down, knowing it would trigger another ‘why aren’t we prepared?’ conversation
- Financial goals felt further and further away, leaving us wondering if they’d ever happen
- The budget was always over, bringing that familiar wave of shame as I quietly moved money from savings. Again.
- That terrifying thought at 3 AM: ‘Did I marry the right person or are we just bad with money together?’
Then it hit me: We didn’t have a SPENDING problem. We had a COMMUNICATION problem.
Our budget wasn’t failing because we lacked discipline.
It failed because we never discussed the deeper reasons behind our financial goals.
Our budget kept saying, “You can’t afford it.”So we never considered discussing “How can we afford it?”
That was the REAL problem.
What changed everything? Conversations.
Conversations that made it crystal clear which expenses aligned with our values—and which ones didn’t.
Conversations that saved us from six-figure financial mistakes before committing the cash.
Conversations that ensured if a decision didn’t go as planned, we knew how to recover together.
This is why the Agree & Achieve Method starts with connection, not calculations.
Because the real financial breakthroughs?
Don’t happen with tighter budgets, more discipline, or a new spreadsheet.
They happen when you have the courage to have those financial conversations you don’t know or are too scared to start.
Instead of “If you’d just listen, we’d never be in this mess”, try “I know we see money differently. I would love to know what matters most to you.”
That shift is the difference.
Couples who thrive financially don’t just follow a budget—they master the art of money conversations.
That’s where the bank account, the relationship, and the life you both want are built.
So, what financial conversation have you been avoiding that might change everything if you had it today?
P.S. If you were nodding along with this post – my work is for you. Give me a follow on FB or IG @FinanceCoachAC
