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Have Sex and Buy Life Insurance

Did you happen to catch the article by relationship columnist Elizabeth Bernstein in the Wall Street Journal the other day?

It is very instructive for married couples who want to have more sex – especially men.

With all seriousness, I offer it as a resource to help you talk about life insurance with your spouse.

Deep emotions

Life insurance is a deeply emotional topic.

One has to be in quite the mood to talk about dying, death, money, and family protection.

People keep putting off the decision to buy it because of this.

How to get in the mood…that’s the key.

When you think about it, people really buy this product because they love and care for their family.

Why else would they spend a bunch of money on a benefit they will never see in their lifetime?

Once they get in touch with those loving feelings, it is easy to move forward.

Can you see where I am headed with this?

Loving and caring mood

We need to get ourselves into a loving and caring mood and then find ways to express those feelings.

So, follow the tips below, and be sure to keep your life insurance application handy.

1. Like it or not, emotional intimacy leads to physical intimacy:

To rekindle the flame, skip the flowers and chocolate. Ditto the plan to get something going on your birthday or anniversary. “These are clichés,” says Justin Lehmiller, a Harvard University social psychologist who studies sexuality. “We’ve been there and done that. The novelty has worn off.”

Step One is to have a conversation with your spouse—and choose your words carefully, says Debby Herbenick, a sex researcher and co-director of the Center for Sexual Health Promotion at Indiana University. “The heart of all this sex stuff is emotional intimacy,” she says. “If you actually want to make changes in your sex life, that’s where you start.”

2. Take small steps:

If you feel awkward starting a conversation on this topic, tell your partner and ask for understanding. “Take some baby steps that will lead you there,” Dr. Herbenick says. Instead of saying, “I miss sex” try saying, “I miss the way sex would bring us together.”

3. Try something new together:

Research suggests a way to ignite the fire is simply to try something new together. Whether it’s a new restaurant, vacation spot or hobby, any kind of novelty drives up dopamine levels in the brain—the same thing that happens when you fall in love. Even if these experiences aren’t sexual, they may trigger passion.

4. Be nice, fella:

On Tuesdays and Fridays, Ms. Pettiford, 37 and a graphic designer, straightens her hair and gets out her best lingerie. Sometimes in the morning, Mr. Pettiford will tell her, “I want you tonight.” Her answer, half joking: “That depends on if you treat me right today.” “I take it as a challenge,” Mr. Pettiford says.