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Are You Listening, Dear?

Caveat: I am not a marriage guru. I am simply a life insurance salesman who has worked with many, many couples in their financial planning. I have also been married for over thirty years to a woman with whom I find new magic every day! In these posts I share what I have learned.


Here’s the scene:

You and your partner are finally having that long overdue discussion about family finances.

All the big topics will be addressed…

Decisions will be made…

How much life insurance should you buy?

How much to put away for retirement?

What about disability insurance?

Plans for long-term care?

But here’s the key question:

Which skill do you feel would be most important for having a productive discussion?

  1. You controlling the conversation so it takes place most efficiently;
  2. You doing all your research so that your partner has all the facts straight;
  3. You listening attentively so that you can help make a decision that is best for both of you.

We all know the answer here; there is no mystery.

Here’s how performance coach Christina Holbrook McEntee describes the benefits of good listening:

You don’t need to do this perfectly for the results to be quite remarkable. All of us want to be listened to, all of us want to really be heard. When someone senses you are really listening to what they have to say amazing things can happen. Solutions can be found that were never imagined. Understanding can be reached that had seemed impossible. Old angers and resentments can be overcome. Frustrations can simply fall away.

Based on your own experience, would good listening make your discussions about family finances, insurance, and everything else more productive?