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How to Unknowingly Kill Your Marriage

Are you unintentionally destroying your spouse?

We often slip up into thinking that tackling the “big stuff” in life is the hard job.

Once you’ve got those issues taken care of, it’s easy to overlook the (very important) “small stuff.”

After all, you’re (presumably) already doing a lot.

Is it really that big of a deal if you don’t go the extra mile and take care of all the “little” things?

The “Small Stuff”

Katelyn Carmen gives some examples of seemingly “small stuff” in a relationship that’s just as important as the “big stuff.” When they’re ignored, it’s easy for the foundation of the relationship to be eroded over time.

The example that really spoke to me:

Not speaking his language.  Women love to drop hints. (I think it’s part of our DNA.) But men just don’t get them. (I think that is a part of their DNA.) Don’t waste your time giving subtle hints that he won’t understand: Speak plainly to him. Be honest about your feelings, and don’t bottle things up until you burst. If he asks you what’s wrong, don’t respond with “nothing” and then expect him to read your mind and emotions. Be open about how you really feel.

For Both Partners

Aaron Anderson authored a companion article to talk about how men can avoid killing the marriage.

The same point from him spoke to me:

Not speaking her language
. Women need to know they are loved and that you are grateful for her. You think you’re showing love by going to work every day and bringing home a paycheck, so most of the time you don’t do much more than that (except maybe on Valentine’s Day). 
But, she needs more than that to see your love and she needs you to show her that you’re doing it all for her. So take a little extra time and do something special. Send her a couple texts during the day or bring her home some flowers from the grocery store. You might be surprised at the reaction you get.

The Foundation of Family Security

These lessons are extremely applicable to the purchase of life insurance. This product is the foundation of family security.

The prospect of losing a spouse is very daunting. Both the financial and the emotional impact can be severe. The decision on how coverage much to buy, and for how long to keep it, is made harder when men and women talk different languages.

How can a couple balance the strong emotions along with the hard facts that go into this deliberation?

I think both Katelyn and Aaron are providing very useful tips for making this decision easier. By taking care of the “small stuff,” a couple can build the foundation of trust and good will that is needed to handle the “big stuff.”